


See Me Through Another Day

by Thishouseisaflyingcircus



Category: Arctic Monkeys, British Singers RPF, Indie Music RPF, The Last Shadow Puppets
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-15
Updated: 2016-05-15
Packaged: 2018-06-05 23:14:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6727366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thishouseisaflyingcircus/pseuds/Thishouseisaflyingcircus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe there's a reason why some fall in love at first sight...</p>
            </blockquote>





	See Me Through Another Day

Miles dropped heavily onto the sturdy, wrought iron chair on the patio of the cafe, the tiny round table supporting his elbows while his trembling fingers mazed through his hair.

He lifted his face and took a moment to watch the people strolling by - businessmen clutching briefcases, students lost within their headphones, couples holding hands, parents pushing prams - and he finally settled his emotions enough to muster a weak smile for the young waitress who had arrived to take his order.

She grinned back, said something he couldn't quite make out, before turning quickly on her heel.

Miles took a deep breath of the air newly scented by flowers and trees in bloom, welcoming the change from the clinical smell of the hospital.

He hated hospitals, would never get used to that overly-sanitized stench that caused his stomach to lurch as images of the past few days rushed painfully to the forefront of his mind.

It was over.

There was no going back there, to the hospital.

There was no need.

Ever again.

Miles' body shuddered, fighting tears, as he released a heavy-hearted sigh.

 

A delicate hand lightly touched Miles' shoulder, warming him instantly and pulling him from his thoughts.

"Is there room for both of us?"

Miles looked up at the source of the voice to see a young man with a slight build and nearly black, penetrating eyes that held his gaze while waiting for an answer, long strands of dark hair nearly obscuring his vision as they swept down his forehead and rested over his eyebrows.

The young man grinned at Miles' blank stare and spoke again while pushing a strand of hair to the side of his face as he waited.

"May I sit here? The place is a bit crowded..."

Miles looked around at the full tables and the groups of people waiting to be seated, and he nodded his head and gestured to the empty chair, flustered that he had kept the man waiting for a response.

"Yes, yes, by all means...please do...and, yes, it seems this beautiful weather and the promise of spring has brought everyone outside today..."

The man sat down, smiling, and pushed up the long sleeves of his dark, henley shirt before brushing his stubborn hair back again.

"Thank you. It's nice to see people appreciating things as simple as the weather...too many take it for granted...they find themselves caught up in things that don't really matter..."

Miles nodded in agreement, the events of the morning having put things into proper perspective for him.

The waitress delivered Miles' tea and the man smiled warmly as he looked up at her and politely ordered, indicating he would be happy with whatever Miles was drinking.

 

"My name's Alex, by the way, thank you so much for sharing your table..."

Miles smiled, feeling his mood lift, and he welcomed the conversation as a thankful diversion from the other things on his mind.

"I'm Miles, nice to meet you, Alex. Are you on a break? Do you work nearby?"

Alex smiled and shook his head as he tracked a bird as it flew overhead, finally landing on a lamppost.

"No, no, I'm not from around here. I was just passing through and had an overwhelming thirst for tea...the walking and warm weather makes one quite thirsty, doesn't it?"

Miles nodded and they both smiled at the waitress as she set Alex's tea down. He busied himself preparing the drink, and then stirred it slowly.

"And you, Miles? What brings you here?" Alex kept his eyes on the spoon as it circled the inside of the cup, tinkling every few rotations as it glanced off the sides.

 

Miles hesitated, not sure whether to reveal the true reason that had him sitting there or to simply agree that the lovely day had beckoned him outside, as well. Usually, a person will ask another how they're doing, expecting a short, pleasant answer in return. They certainly don't want to hear one's life story replete with all its sad and depressing details.

No, small talk with a complete stranger was no place to unload one's sad reality.

But this felt different.

Miles looked up into Alex's eyes, and they were so warm and comforting and seemingly endless in their depth of compassion, and his smile was so inviting that before Miles knew what he was doing, he was opening up and partially revealing the truth.

"My mother...she's been ill...at the hospital..." Miles pointed down the street to the tall, uninviting building.

Alex nodded, lips pursed, his eyes wandering back to his tea.

"Sorry to hear that...she loved you very much..."

Miles' eyes shot to Alex, startled at his comment.

 

" _What?_ "

Alex's eyes widened and he fidgeted slightly, but didn't meet Miles' questioning stare, choosing instead to concentrate on his rhythmic stirring.

" _Uh_...I can see it in your eyes...they're sad beyond words...and you feel her loss deeply because of the love she gave you all your life..."

"But I never said she..."

Alex interrupted him, eyes still focused on his spoon as it dipped in and out of the liquid.

"I can just tell...your eyes...they're very revealing...about your loss..."

" _Oh_..." Miles looked down at his cup, blinking rapidly to dispel the tears that were pooling in his eyes.

Alex placed his hand on top of Miles' and their eyes met, and a sudden warmth and peace filled Miles' body, instantly easing his grief.

"She loved you very much..."

Miles nodded, confused, not sure how to respond.

 

After that, the subject quickly changed and the two engaged in small talk during which Miles felt a wave of calmness rush over him as they discussed the weather, his work, anything, and everything.

Miles was thoroughly enjoying the unexpected visit, though he couldn't explain why, maybe because it was keeping him from the harsh reality he would soon be facing. Whatever it was, Miles was reluctant to leave Alex behind when he had finished his tea and he felt a strong urge to stay with him, to not allow their time to end.

He wanted Alex near, needed him near.

In fact, Miles would have liked to stay in the cafe as long as possible, until they were kicked out and kicked back into the real world, but he felt the need to vacate the table for other customers waiting on a table.

"Would you like to walk around the park?"

Alex smiled warmly and nodded his head, delighted with Miles' suggestion.

"Yes, I'd like that, Miles, very much. There's no better way to appreciate everything we've been given than with a walk through a park on a beautiful day..."

Miles stood and placed money on the table, gesturing to Alex that he was paying for his tea as well. Alex smiled and thanked him, a happy, serene look taking over his face.

As they began to walk away, Miles looked back at the table, noting that Alex had never taken one sip of his tea.

 

Miles lost count of how many leisurely laps they took around the park's enormous pond.

Each circling brought the two men closer, both mentally and physically, with Miles feeling an unexplainable freedom with Alex.

There was a strange familiarity there, like they were childhood friends, and Miles surprised himself when he opened up and started sharing feelings and stories about his mother, as though Alex had personally known her.

And Alex smiled serenely, listening, nodding, and commenting, and told a few stories of his own.

At some point during the walk, Miles watched in shock as his hand moved on its own, detached from all reasoning, and reached out to grab Alex's, their fingers slotting neatly and comfortably together, a soothing and cool heat moving between them.

Not missing a step, Alex looked down at the contact and his eyelashes fluttered as he smiled contently, humming his pleasure.

 

Miles fought against an inner panic at his bold action, questioning what he was doing, what he was feeling.

 _Christ!_ His mother had just passed away this very morning, and here he was, trying to make the moves on a complete stranger.

Miles had never once in his life indulged in a reckless one-night stand or short fling, the thought had always repulsed him. And, although initiating such a move was completely against his character and he was horrified he was doing it, Miles couldn't pull himself away from the energy and draw that Alex was pushing towards him.

He persuaded himself that this wasn't a sexual advance towards Alex, but for some reason, he just wanted to hold on to him, to never let him go.

He didn't want to lose Alex.

Alex must have sensed Miles' concerns and fears, and he squeezed his hand firmly.

"Let's sit."

He motioned towards an empty bench sat back among the trees and Miles nodded, still looking at their hands clasped together, unable to explain what he was doing, or what he was feeling.

 

"Very soon, we won't remember any of this..." Alex announced after they sat down and he brushed the hair away from his face while he looked out at the pond, smiling sadly.

Miles looked at Alex, taking in every part of his strongly delicate face, taking advantage of the fact that Alex was looking away and wouldn't notice.

Then Alex's words registered in his head, Alex was talking about Miles holding his hand, Alex was assuming Miles intended to take things further, have a quickie, right then and there. Miles blurted out his response, unable to hide his embarrassment over Alex's assumption of where Miles wanted things to head.

" _What?_ No, Alex! This isn't what it looks like...this isn't what I want...I know this seems suspicious being we just met...and I can't explain it...even to myself...but...I want to see you again...I...I need to see you again..." Miles meant every word he said.

Alex smiled, pushing up his long sleeves before squeezing Miles' hand.

"I'm so happy you feel this way...I'm drawn to you, too, Miles...it feels right...but that's not how it works..."

Miles shifted on the bench and he turned to face Alex, lifting their locked hands and setting them in his lap.

"Alex, I know things are moving quickly... _Christ!_ I'm holding your hand and have only known you for a couple of hours...and all I can think about is kissing you and holding you close to me...but I swear...I've never done something like this before...I want to see you again....after today...I don't want this...whatever it is...to end...I want something more..."

 

Alex grinned and reached his free hand to Miles' face, stroking his cheek. Miles closed his eyes and leaned into the caress, basking in how safe and calm he felt.

"I know, Miles...I know everything about you...and I'll be yours... _all yours_...if you truly want me...if you choose me..." Alex whispered, his thumb still stroking Miles' cheek.

Miles released his hold on Alex's hand and grasped Alex's face, pulling the boy in closer until their lips met, pressing together, softly and slowly, for just a moment until Miles pulled back to smile at Alex.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I do want you, Alex...I've never felt this strongly...about anything...please...say we can continue to see each other..."

Alex's hands rose to clutch Miles' wrists, and Miles pulled him in for another kiss, his tongue playing along Alex's lip until Alex softly moaned and opened his mouth. They kissed, kissed, and then kissed some more, slowly, with no sense of urgency, no need to do anything else.

Alex finally pulled away, smiling.

"I want you too, Miles, but your heart has to make this decision...all on its own this time...your head has no say in it..."

Miles sat back, brows furrowed in confusion, shaking his head, needing more explanation.

 

Alex decided to just dive in and explain.

"I'm not from here, Miles, and very soon, we won't remember any of this...and we may never see each other again...unless it's meant to be...that we're together...and even if it happens...and we meet again...we won't remember this..."

Miles lifted one eyebrow and he cocked his head, not understanding Alex's point.

"Your mum's spirit chose me as she passed... _chose me for you_...she wanted me to be in your life...she wanted me to be the one to bring you comfort and solace..."

Miles looked at Alex for a moment, then chuckled, shaking his head and standing up, cursing himself for not only wanting to hook up in a park the same day his mother died, but choosing a delusional lad to do it with.

 

Alex reached out and grabbed Miles' arm in an attempt to stop him from leaving.

"When you were fourteen, you and your mother moved into a new flat and you found a dusty old copy of _War and Peace_ on the top shelf of a storage closet, and you still haven't finished the book to this day, though you have tried, many times. Your spot is marked with a leaf you found while walking through a park with your mum...on Mother's Day..."

Miles stopped, picturing the book where it now sat among his book collection, the dried leaf snugly placed not even halfway through the massive novel.

No one knew that, only his mom, and she had always teased him that pigs would be flying if he ever did manage to finish it.

 

Miles slowly sat back down, guided by Alex's gentle pull.

"I...I don't understand... _how_...how do you know that?"

Alex put his hand on Miles' shoulder and caressed it, his thumb glancing across Miles' collarbone.

"I know it's a lot to take in...for me, too...but you need to know that your mum is fine...where she is now...and that alone should bring you comfort...she wanted me to be the one to fill your heart with that knowledge...tell me, Miles...do you feel something when I touch you?"

Miles' eyes focused down on the wooden bench, his long fingers tracing over letters someone had carved as a crude memorial deep into a slat, RIP WSE. Over and over again his fingers ran over the weathered and worn gouges in the wood as he mulled over Alex's question.

Miles nodded.

He did feel different.

From the moment Alex rested his hand on his shoulder at the cafe to every time after that when they touched, he had felt an overwhelming sense of relief.

 

"Your beautiful mum chose me as she passed...chose me for you...she was wonderful...and happy...and she showed me the life you two shared together...she loved you so very much, Miles...and she wanted you to find the same happiness she had in her life with you...it was her last wish as she passed through..."

Miles nodded and breathed out a sob.

If he was indeed going crazy and was willing to believe what Alex was saying, he might as well go all the way, off the deep end. Go big or go home, they say.

" _Please_...tell me... _everything_...help me understand..."

Alex grabbed both of Miles' hands and held them while he told Miles about the Waiting Place, for those like himself - young people, children, and babies, who had passed far too soon and were waiting for another chance to continue on, to complete their paths, to find their perfect place in the world.

 

" _You_...you died? Are you an angel or a ghost?" Miles looked at him, wide-eyed.

Alex shrugged and gave him a shy smile, looking up between his dark strands of unruly hair.

"Some people call us that...it depends on what you believe in..."

" _How_...how did you die? When? How old were you?"

Alex closed his eyes in thought, reliving the memory as though it were very recent.

"I haven't aged since...it was several years ago...I was skiing with friends...during Spring Break...and I...I lost control...and crashed into the trees...I...I died instantly..."

Alex opened his eyes and smiled softly at Miles, his eyes shiny with the memory.

"I'm so, so sorry, Alex..."

"It's okay...I'm okay...you need to know that, Miles...I'm not in pain...I wasn't in any pain...and I'm not sad...or suffering...and neither is your mother...none of us are...and I've been waiting... _for you._.."

 

"The ones who are waiting greet the departing spirits as they move on...and your mum passed by me and grabbed my hand...and she was so happy she found me...and said I was the one...for you...she knew we shared a future...and in that one touch of her hand, I knew your entire life through her eyes...I know everything about you, Miles..."

Miles scoffed, now slightly skeptical, and he decided to test Alex, to wade in and see how truly deep into the Crazy Sea he had sunk, how far out he was swimming.

"What was my first pet?"

Alex grinned.

"It was three fish, you were eight years old, and you named them Led, Zep, and Lin..."

Miles nodded and chuckled, pleasantly surprised.

"What food do I hate?"

"Oysters...oh...and steak that is over-cooked... _it's not steak unless there's some bleeding going on_..."

Miles eyes widened and he smiled at the use of his personal quote.

"Favorite piece of clothing?"

"Those white jeans you wear constantly, the incredibly snug ones that I must admit you wear well...very, very well...almost _too_ well..."

Miles laughed, nodding, and moved in to kiss Alex again, and what started out as a quick peck turned into more until they finally broke away, breathless and grinning.

 

"What's it like? Tell me everything..." Miles was a believer now.

Alex giggled and rested his head against Miles' shoulder, and Miles' arms immediately snaked around him, pulling him in even closer.

"It's a beautiful place...no time passes...there's no pain...no sense of urgency...your mum is so happy...there is no worry...no fear..."

Miles nodded, grateful that he was being given this gift to understand.

"I've got so many things to ask you, Alex, but they can wait...for another day..." Miles pulled Alex onto his lap and they kissed, and giggled, their eager lips roaming over their mouths, their faces, their necks.

 

Soon, the shadows from the sun withered and disappeared into the all-encompassing shade of the early evening. Alex sighed, his lips not wanting to leave Miles' body, knowing what was to come.

"Miles, neither of us will remember this..."

Miles stopped nuzzling his face into Alex's neck.

"What? What do you mean? You're here...we're together...it's what my mum wanted..."

"I have to leave soon...and when I do, we'll both lose all memories of each other and what happened today...in case your heart decides I'm not the one for you...there won't be any pain with the loss...for either of us..."

Miles found it difficult to hide his frustration.

"But...I want you, Alex...and you want me...isn't that enough? Can't we bypass everything else?"

Alex grinned as his hand undid the buttons on Miles' shirt, and he placed a warm palm flat over Miles' heart. Miles shivered, feeling the cool heat soak into his skin.

"That's not how it works...we are only given this short time together...to see if we connect...that's why you were overwhelmed with feelings for me...and acted so quickly on them..."

Alex pushed his hand against Miles' chest and Miles placed his own hand over Alex's.

"...but it's your heart, Miles, not your body, that has to make the call...we might be together again...someday...if it's meant to be...if not, you'll always feel the comfort I've given you...deep in your heart...about your mum...until you find someone who comforts you...like I have..."

Miles growled his discontent and kissed Alex's neck, nipping and sucking on it before swiping his soothing tongue across the skin. Alex moaned as he slowly untucked Miles' shirt and Miles pulled away just enough to murmur into Alex's warm neck.

"Well, then, Alex...let's try to make this a moment neither of us will forget..."

Alex giggled as they stood and Miles led him deeper into the night, until they found the perfect spot, where Miles gently pressed Alex into the soft grass.

 

Miles looked up from his cup of tea and shook his mind free of his already forgotten daydream.

He looked around at the people waiting to be seated, and he sighed and paid his bill. He decided at the last minute to walk around the park, breathing in the fresh air and appreciating the occasional rogue cloud that would cover the warm sun for a minute, bringing a crispness to the air, reminding everyone how quickly things could change.

How quickly life could change.

He made it to his flat where he fell onto his bed, wrapped in a jumble of emotions, somehow both content and shattered, at ease and aching, sensing his mom was in a better place and was no longer in pain, and he felt empty and missed her more than he ever thought possible.

Miles knew he would survive this and, eventually, the bad memories of the last few days would fade to nothing and he would only hold the good memories to his heart, a place they deserved, a place they belonged.

Somehow, he knew it was going to be alright.

And that knowledge brought on the wave of tears that rocked him to sleep.

 

Days later, Miles returned to his flat, exhausted after the past week of losing his mother, planning her funeral, and getting her things in order.

Today had been the culmination of it all, the funeral and reception, where he managed to smile and stay stoic for the many sad-faced well-wishers who told him wonderful stories about his mother and how she had touched their lives and would never be forgotten.

Miles felt a twinge of guilt that he was relieved it was finally over.

He shed his suit and tie and poured a healthy double shot of Jameson, a guilty indulgence his mother used to perform nightly, and he held it upwards in a silent toast to the woman he admired most in the world before downing the smooth Irish whiskey.

He took a quick shower and collapsed on the bed, tearless this time, knowing that he had just buried the most important person in his life, grateful that he had been given a chance to love her and fill his heart with fond memories that would never fade.

 

Miles woke the next morning to a loud crash in the hallway outside his flat.

He stumbled to the door and opened it, looking for the the source of the commotion, and was met by a slight, young man with big, dark eyes and unruly hair that softly framed his face.

The boy gave an apologetic and sheepish grin to Miles as he pushed up the sleeves of his dark henley, and then he looked down at the moving box at his feet.

"So sorry about that, mate. Lost my grip on it..." He quickly stooped to pick up the contents that had spilled out and Miles immediately squatted to help him.

"No problem, it was time for me to get up and greet the new day..."

 

Their hands touched when they both moved to grab the huge, tattered copy of _War and Peace_ that lay open, partially out of the box.

Miles' hand gently rested over the stranger's.

They paused and looked up at each other, embarrassed at the intimate contact, both feeling an indescribable rush of warm blood widen their already flooded veins.

" _I'm_...I'm Miles...by the way..." Miles couldn't take his eyes of the other man's, he felt calm and safe in their rich color, like he was meant to be there.

"Nice to meet you, Miles...I'm Alex...I'm moving in to the flat right there...two doors down..."

Alex pointed to his door and smiled shyly, looking at Miles, wanting to forget about the fallen moving box and the other fourteen boxes stuffed in his car and stay crouched in the hallway for as long as the other man would allow. He felt good, comfortable, like he was finally where he belonged.

They both blushed and looked away, realizing that their reluctance to put distance between them was awkward, yet both still remained in the same position, too close, hands touching, refusing to move away from the other.

"Well, welcome to the building, Alex...let me help you...you're going to love it here..."

Alex grinned and pushed a strand of hair from his eye.

"Thank you...I've got a weird feeling, Miles...but I think you're right..."

**Author's Note:**

> This is a personal note, so skip it if that doesn't interest you. You may not like this story, and that's okay, it's more for me than you this time. AO3 has become my personal journal and I like to hide references to things going on in my life, what I'm doing, music I'm listening to, shows I'm watching, and books I'm reading throughout each and every one of my works. This story is no different, so allow me this one, extreme indulgence.
> 
> I lost a friend to a skiing accident over Spring Break this year. We weren't close friends, he never revealed his secrets to me and I never revealed my secrets to him, but he was part of the group I hang out with, and we spent a lot of time together, and he lived across the road from me. 
> 
> Every day now, several times, I look up and see his corner bedroom window and can't believe he's no longer here. I'll wave to his mom, but feel guilty that my family is still here, still intact. Our street has become too quiet, he and our friends no longer playing basketball or lacrosse in the culdesac, no longer sledding or boarding down our hills after a decent snow.
> 
> I needed to write something or I'm pretty sure I would have gone crazy, something that will make me feel that it's not over for him, that he will somehow get another chance to live a full life. I know it's childish, and maybe one day I will accept that when a person dies, that's it, halas, pau, worm food, but for now, this idea that he will live on soothes me. And when, and if, I ever come back to AO3 several years from now and read my stories, I will remember him, his sharp wit, and infectious laugh. 
> 
> So please, S, don't fade on me.


End file.
